


Loser Takes All

by fickleminder



Series: Vigilantes On Tape [4]
Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Humor, hamnoir - Freeform, human!Ham, vigilante!Noir, vigilante!Peni
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 04:26:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17656040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fickleminder/pseuds/fickleminder
Summary: Benjamin and Porker go on a date.





	Loser Takes All

**Author's Note:**

  * For [andy_allan_poe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/andy_allan_poe/gifts).



> This is a Spiderverse AU with OC elements. Please refer to the series notes for more info.

“Of all the darkness I’ve faced…”

“To be fair, you never stick around after you’re done –”

“Armed with nothing but my wits and fists…”

“– and you usually only come out at night, unlike the rest of us normal folks –”

“All the crimes I’ve fought, the villains put away behind bars…”

“– so you can’t blame people for not knowing what you really look like up close.”

“There is no greater injustice in the world.”

“…Drama queen.”

Benjamin was positively scowling at the ‘2nd Place’ ribbon pinned onto Porker’s cape. He swore it was mocking him, along with the rest of the Noir cosplayers around them. “Who loses a lookalike competition of themselves when they’re the real thing?”

A group of girls dressed up as Lady Mecha ran past them, and he knew the kid was never going to let him live this down.

Porker patted his arm sympathetically. “I told you your suit was overdue for a redesign. You have to get with the times. A little bit of style goes a long way!” The reporter gestured at his improved rendition of the dark vigilante’s costume, expertly sewn from scratch and sized just right for his wider frame. He was proud of how it turned out, and he knew the only reason he hadn’t won the top prize was because of his physique.

“Excuse you, my suit isn’t a fashion statement. It’s perfectly functional the way it is.”

“Well, yeah, but you gotta admit the mysterious, broody vibe you like to give off is so 1930s.”

“Hmph.”

The superhero convention downtown had been Kimiko’s idea for a good date. People were dressed up as the local vigilantes and taking part in cosplay competitions. The P.I. had been apprehensive about participating as his alter ego at first, but Porker assured him that his secret identity wouldn’t be so easily compromised. That being said, they certainly weren’t expecting him to get kicked out of the Noir category in the very first round…

“Tell you what, let’s head back, get changed, and go out for a show. I’ve got tickets to that new musical you’ve been eyeing.”

Benjamin’s mood visibly brightened, and he let Porker take his hand as they walked out of the convention hall. “They’ve been sold out for weeks! How did you –”

“A reporter never reveals his sources.” Porker winked. “I heard that comedian you like is in one of the lead roles. And so is that edgy actor who sort of reminds me of you…”


End file.
